13 February 2010

EASILY, SHE WAS 300-325 POUNDS

Easily, she was 3-325 pounds and towered at barely 5-foot 2. Clearly, she rocked her 'Apple Bottom' jeans. She was loud and everyone in the store needed to know her business...her and her hands-free cell phone. Her weave needed reweaving, I could see a thatch of hair had become un-thatched. She was in line, in front of me at the Target store.

Like anyone who's ever gone shopping, I surfed her shopping cart. Nothing out of the ordinary, 16-cans of Pedigree Dog Food and a 10ML bottle of KY Intense. What?! Naturally I took a 'double take', re-swallowed my lunch from this afternoon. The picture splattered all over the interior of my skull of her applying the 'Arousal Gel' was far worse than walking in on my parents 'doing the dirty'..."massage 2-4 pumps to the clitoris during foreplay. Reapply as desired", according to KYs website....WTF.

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